R.I.P. Catwoman

Eartha Kitt died Christmas day from a long battle with colon cancer.she was 81.Eartha was an actress, singer and cabaret star.she is probably most famously known for her role as catwoman in the 1960's batman tv series.I remember seeing her in a show at madison suare garden w. my mother where she played the fairy god-mother in cinderella.I will never forget her purrrr.lol.the best in purring history.

it seems to me that so many random people are just passing away before the new year.its so sad.

xmas surprise

so since I'm mentioning Christmas I just have to mention the best Xmas gift ever in the history of Christmases.

my love Jason.I dont know what it is that this man does to me, I can't even explain it.all I know is that when I am with him nothing else matters.I'd wait a lifetime for him because I love him that much.

he is all I need and all I ever wanted.

Christmas 2008

this Christmas my dear friend Ayanna decided that we all should cook and have a nice quiet dinner at her house.great idea.I enjoyed myself and the food was popping.lol.from rockband to missing tooth Haitians who play the guitar to our 3 a.m. search for bud, Christmas was definitely something else.can't wait for our next get together.

Little Biggie

so sitting here reminiscing on the days when bad boy records was popping and I was just wondering to myself (I tend to wonder alot) Biggies kids are doing.I had seen baby pics of his son with Faith but no recent ones.I just realized I've never seen pictures of his first born, his daughter T'yanna you know the one he raps about feeding and putting diamond earrings in her ear in JUICY, well i searched and found these pics from a 2007 interview with Blender.com.

Christopher Wallace Jr. is a cutie BUT his older sister T'yanna is fucking mug out her ass.fuck her life she just had to take after her papi.smh.what a shame.

LOOKS ARE EVERYTHING.

Kimberly Denise Jackson?

plastic surgery is a bitch.it makes you look like a damn wax figure.smh.

is it just me or does lil kim look like Latoya Jackson? hmmmm I wonder...thinking maybe her and Micheal might share some DNA, I mean they do share their love of going under the knife.why not?I wouldn't be surprised lol.

NOTORIOUS

remember?this song brings back memories awww, I was like 6 or 7 I think when this came out.kim killed her verse.peep lil cease bitch ass booty.lol

"NOTORIOUS" movie

speaking of lil kim I just remebered the movie "Notorious" a biopic on the Notorious B.I.G. life will drop in theatres JANUARY 16 OF 2009.boy o boy i get all giddy inside just thinking about it I cannot motherfucking wait! BOOM CHICKA WAH WAH.very disappointed in the casting for this film, the actors look nothing like the real life people but will shall see how they deliver in their performances.all in all the film looks pretty good, $12 won't go to waste I hope.

check it out.

Kim where art thou?

man o man driving home today i stumbled across an old mix cd I had with a couple of lil kim songs on it and I just said to myseld DAMN how I miss thee old kim.it seems that as the years go by and the money starts to pile up stars feel the need to upgrade themselves physically by undergoing plastic surgery.if I didn't know who kim was and you had showed me a picture of her from the 90's when she first came out and a recent picture of her now I would have never known that the two were of the same people.O how I miss the blue hair and green lipstick, remember the crush on you video? or quiet storm remix? thats the kim I loved, not the artificial looking barbie version.

Daddy don't touch me there

ok so it seems to me that today Jamaicans can sing about anything, ie. rowing de boat, signaling planes, bleaching with cream even incest.now I know incest is a very serious subject but I cannot help but make fun of Queen Ifrica's single "DADDY" omg.lmfao.this song and video are just too funny.the actors are thee worse and the chorus to the song just brings me to tears.I'm sorry but a song about incest is just something I can't take seriously, especially when it is a reggae song.

Kanye vs. Penny thrower

lmao.so my dear beast friend Ayanna was telling me how while performing in Australia someone took it upon themself to throw a penny at Kanye West.BIG MISTAKE.lol.the result is one hell of a freestyle.

Ayannas' imitation alone brought me to tears but after seeing and hearing the footage for myself I am dying on the floor from laughter.

Kanye.gotta love him.

Arsenic & Old Lace

(1944)

Mortimer Bruster is a newspaperman and author known for his diatribes against marriage. We watch him being married at city hall in the opening scene. Now all that is required is a quick trip home to tell Mortimer's two maiden aunts. While trying to break the news, he finds out his aunts' hobby; killing lonely old men and burying them in the cellar. This is just the set up of whats next to come. Trust me it gets worse.

senior year.Mr. Mingrones 4th period film class started it all.this was the first movie we watched to start off the school year.It is my personal favorite.Cary Grant became another name added to my actors I would have liked to fuck list.I loved the movie so much I had to tell thee bestie Christie to watch.did she want to? NO, she wanted to be dumb but after she finally decided to listen to me the wise one she fell in love with it instantly just as I had.yep I like to say that I opened her eyes to old films.this film served as a stepping stone to other old films.now the bitch is hooked.and it all started with a little arsenic and old lace.

She's a wooty

a white girl with a booty =).

ummm yea I need to accomplish this for 09.

why was I never taught how to do this? damn. I can't hate but white girl booty is official..

SHOES.

I want 'em. I need 'em.

Baracka nuptials

awww how cute. Michelle wasn't as cosmetically challenge.

umm disturbing

Rupaul for President

Rockaway

this is my shit o the memories. me and my daddy use to jam to this back in the day back when I was small enough to stand on his feet.

Jamaican translator

what she say?

mi pussy real goodddddd

I love Jamaicans...so flipping vulgar, its like music to my ears =)

dreaming of a pink Christmas

I NEED THIS TREE! ASAP.

WOW

is it possible to be this beautiful? YES it is and Kim K is living proof.

Little Hood Riding Red

One afternoon a big wolf waited in a dark forest for a little girl to come along carrying a basket of food to her grandmother. Finally a little girl did come along and she was carrying a basket of food. "Are you carrying that basket to your grandmother?" asked the wolf. The little girl said yes, she was. So the wolf asked her where her grandmother lived and the little girl told him and he disappeared into the woods.
When the little girl opened the door of her grandmother's house she saw that there was somebody in bed with a nightcap and nightgown on. She had approached no nearer than twenty-five feet from the bed when she saw that it was not her grandmother but the wolf, for even in a nightcap a wolf does not look any more like your grandmother than the Metro-Goldwyn lion looks like Britney Spears. So the little girl took an automatic out of her basket and rinsed her gun in his fucking face. =)
(Moral: It is not so easy to fool little girls nowadays as it used to be.)

Politically Correct Cinderella

lmao.so towards the end of the semester my professor decided to give us different versions of classic fairytales to read.heres a version of Cinderella I found funny.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, lived a noble gentleman and his (without denoting any real possession) dear daughter. She was very beautiful – her breasts were centrally located and she was cosmetically gifted.
He loved her very much, and he was worried that she was lonely, as her mother was metabolically challenged, and dwelled 6 feet underground. So the gentleman conjoined in a purely egalitarian partnership with a lady who had (without denoting any real possession) two daughters of her own, figuring that they’d be kind and sweet to his own lovely offspring.
Instead, they made her do all the domestic labour, and made her wear the clothes a financially disadvantaged person (or perdaughter) would. Both girls were aesthetically different and had a more challenging odour than would be normal, as well as having their own unique, rather liberal, moral codes, allowing them to bully and taunt the poor girl and make her do all the chores. The poor child would spend her days in the cellar, peeling potatoes, sat in a hunch in the corner by the chimney, and for this reason the sisters nicknamed her ‘Cinderella’.
One day, it was announced that one of the most financially advantaged people in the town, the King’s son, was going to throw a big ball. The sisters were asked to go, and they were so excited they ran around for days, laughing hersterically. They bought themselves fancy dresses that were so stuffed with jewels they stood up by themselves, and spent days and days talking about all the people of important social status that they planned to meet.
The great day arrived, and Cinderella found herself in the cellar by herself. “I wish I could go to the ball,” she said to herself. “I bet I could pull that prince – I’m far prettier than those two unconventional-looking, loved-by-spots, 300-pound dinosaurs. I’m far more preferable to men.” The two sisters departed, and Cinderella stayed at home and moaned to the silence.
It was not long until there was a big puff of blue smoke and a rather festively-formed, full-figured, gravitationally-powerful woman appeared. It was her fairy godmother. Cinderella recognised her at once.
“I really want…”Cinderella started.
“To go to the ball,” finished the godmother. Cinderella nodded. “Despite how much I support your freedom to be emotional, since I’m considering your own success here I would ask you politely to cease crying, lest it hinder you. Now go to the garden and get me a pumpkin.”
Cinderella could not imagine how a pumpkin could help her to get to the ball – unfortunately she was rather intellectually impaired and did not yet appreciate that the fat woman who had appeared out of thin air was magic. Nonetheless, she took herself to the garden and took the biggest pumpkin she could carry back to the fairy godmother, who tapped it with her wand, turning it into a golden coach lined with white satin.
The godmother tapped Cinderella on the head and turned her shabby clothes into a stunning white silk dress. Cinderella was concerned for the fate of the silkworms, but considered how the dress was made – using magic – and decided to forget about it. She looked at herself in the full length mirror, and remarked on her slippers, which were made of glass.
“Now go and get me 6 mice from the luxury mouse-trap with fitted mouse-furniture and a mouse television with specific mouse programming in the kitchen, and a big juicy rat.”
With a touch of the wand, each mouse turned into a horse, and the rat turned into a coach driver. Cinderella grew more concerned.
“Fairy godmother,” Cinderella said, “I am concerned for the wellbeing of these horses and this coach driver. One day they were vermin – not that vermin are lesser life forms, of course, and the next thing you know they’re horses and people, and I don’t plan to pay or feed any of them. Considering they’re working for nothing, exactly where should my morals lie in using them?”
“Shut up and get in the carriage, you selfish brat,” the godmother replied. “Oh, and, if you stay in the palace for one second after midnight, all my magic will vanish and you’ll be cosmetically challenged and in your monetarily inexpensive clothes.”
A few moments later, the coach was rolling down towards the ball with the excited Cinderella inside. She arrived and strode up to the prince, slamming her lips into his and they embraced. For the rest of the night, Cinderella and the prince were constantly in each other’s arms, and the two sisters, who did not recognise their own stepsister, were rather flattered when she spoke some words to them.
The hours flew by so happily that Cinderella did not even notice the time until it the clock began to strike midnight. With a cry of alarm she fled from the room. One of the glass slippers flew from her foot and landed on a crate of beer as she struggled to leave the ball before one second past midnight. The prince hurried after her, but, when he reached the entrance hall, she couldn’t find the beautiful girl – just a cinder-maid in a ragged grey dress.
Cinderella hurried home through the dark streets, overwhelmed with shame.
The next day, there was a great procession of trumpets and drums as a regal possession went through the town, going from place to place, at the head of which sat the king’s son. He held a glass slipper on a red pillow, as a herald announced that any lady in the land who could fit the slipper on her foot and could produce the pair would be to marry the prince, if both parties agreed and if the housework was shared equally. Both sisters tried, but their feet were too spacious to squeeze in. Cinderella begged to try, and, to the scorn of her sisters, the prince agreed.
The slipper slipped easily on, and Cinderella pulled the second glass slipper from her pocket. The prince was overjoyed, and wrapped his arms warmly around the pretty cinder maid.
Cinderella spoke up. “Despite the romantic ending of this story, emotionally I feel a little flat. You have fallen in love with me because the fairy godmother made me look pretty, and I’m not convinced that that is a satisfactory basis for a marriage – you don’t even know me. We have only met on one occasion, and, like in this story, I haven’t even established my true character or personality to you – you have no real idea of how well we’d get along. I know you think you have noble and chivalrous intentions but in the context of this story they just reinforce negative notions about male dominance – you’re a prince, I’m a cinder maid, and I have no real interest in you to be honest – at least, no interest further than a purely financial one. It might be a happy ending because I’ll be royalty, but I want so much more!”
“I know,” the prince replied. “I’m completely loaded. I’ve got big palaces and we wouldn’t even have to see each other really, except when we’re having sex or ‘Deal or No Deal’ is on. I don’t need a woman with personality – just human contact.”
“So there’d be no love in our marriage? You’re really only interested in me because I’m an attractive female? Just a sex object? You Neanderthal!”
“Alas, yes, but trust me, you’ll enjoy it. It’s a massive social step up and you’ll have loads of money. You bloody feminists – Jesus – you’re just as human as I am when it comes down to it. Your life will be fantastic if we get married, and I don’t even care if you go off hunting for other men – so long as we still have sex and watch ‘Deal or No Deal’. I’m really easy to live with. If you marry me right now, you will definitely live happily ever after. It’s your choice though, of course.”
Cinderella told the prince she didn’t want to be objectified by a man, and refused point-blank. She carried on being treated like a source of free labour by her morally challenged step-sisters and died in a home for the mentally impaired.

Kardashian Bares All

so when you hear naked Kardashians the first thing that come to mind naturally is Kim but who knew Khloe had sex appeal too.amazed is what I'am at her new ad for PETA.those of you who know me know that I can't stand her mug ass.I swear she's the odd one of the whole Kardashian clan.shes mad tall for no reason and a bit doofy if you ask me.she kind of resembles a tranny but anyways her new ad suggest otherwise.amazing what a bit of airbrushing can do.

what is it with these Kardashians with taking their clothes off for the camera?

mad I didn't know

so umm im totally lost, I had absolutely no idea this woman was knocked up again but anyways Usher and his old ass worn out pussy wife Tameka welcomed their second son, Naviyd Ely Raymond, on Wednesday, Dec. 10, 2:33 a.m. weighing 5 lbs., 13 oz.Naviyd joins older brother Usher Raymond V, who turned 1 on Nov. 26.Usher and Tameka married in 2007 (fast ass motherfuckers) smh. tameka, 37, also has three sons from a previous relationship.wtf?, produce a girl already.5 niggas back to back damn.

Teyana Taylor... girly side?

O shit I would have never known if I hadn't seen it for myself with my own two eyes.Teyana Taylor previously from MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen and Pharells new up and coming artist got one hell of a body on her.looking all grown and definitely sexy at her 18th birthday party Tuesday at NYC's Kush Lounge.way different look from her usual baggy skateboard apparel.

Pin up legend dies.

omg I just saw the news and I am saddened to her that the Notorious Bettie Page has passed away.she was 85.smh.I loved her.for those of you who dont know who she is Bettie is the queen of pin-ups.Bettie Page was the brunet pinup queen with a shoulder-length pageboy hairdo and kitschy bangs.she had a great impact on the 1960's sexual revolution.Bettie took her pictures where no other model had ever gone before, posing with whips spanking other woman or in bondage.her pictures are retro and also very modern.she stood out from other pin-up models in her day with her risque photos and signature bangs.who knew this ex secretary had so much potential?

a cult figure, Page was most famous for the estimated 20,000 4-by-5-inch black-and-white glossy photographs taken by amateur shutterbugs from 1949 to 1957. the photos showed her in high heels and bikinis or negligees, bondage apparel or nothing at all.decades later, those images inspired biographies, comic books, fan clubs, websites, commercial products, playing cards, dress-up magnet sets, action figures, zippo lighters, shot glasses a film about her life and times, "The Notorious Bettie Page."

she will be missed.

Cake Man Raven...best red velvet in Brooklynn.

never experienced an orgasm? well if your looking to have one I suggest you look no further than 708 fulton st. in bk. there you will find the best red velvet cake EVER! like deadass it doesn't get any better. the cake is so so moist and so so good. mmm mmm mmm I get chills just thinking about it. I've been hooked since 2004, thanks to my moms dear old friend Dawn for putting us on. so whenever your in for a quick sugar fix or maybe just a big screaming O lol just stop on by and grab a slice. TRUST you wont regret it.

just do it already!

mad random but I just saw these two on entertainment tonight at the premiere of Angies film Changeling and they are just too fucking cute! I wish they would just hurry the fuck up and tie the damn knot already. what could they possibly be waiting for...baby number 500?

"A Day Without Gay"

ok so I was just informed that same sex marriage supporters are being encouraged to call in "gay" to work wednesday december 10 to show how much the country depends on gays and lesbians. supporters should instead spend the day performing community service. this action, which coincides with today's International Human Rights Day, is controversial because participants are urged not to call in sick but to call in gay, which could put their jobs in jeopardy. what does this prove? I have absolutely no idea, but can I call in gay to school during finals? lol def. wouldn't hurt to try.

like who gives a shit?

I'm sick. I'm tired. I'am sick and tired of hearing about Oprah and her flipping weight. I mean there are way more important things to fucking talk about and yet here I'am blogging about the worlds most famous yo-yo dieter. The woman has a damn thyroid problem get over it. shes obviously going to put on weight its not her fault. I've been home all day and I swear I heard them mention her fat ass about a million times on the news. shes been quoted as saying she feels like a failure for letting so many people down. next month issue of O magazine will include an essay written by the talk show diva herself addressing the issue. shes been an advocate for healthy living for years but can't seem to follow her own advice. its ok girl you've got billions in the bank just pay someone to suck it all out.

Christie almost got ran over by a SUV

yesterday night I witnessed the most funniest shit ever in the history of funny shit! Christie one of my dear dear best friends thought it would be pretty cool to hang of the side of my moms 4Runner while it was in motion,BIG MISTAKE.lmao just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes all over again.I didn't even get to move the car 5 inches when all of a sudden she lets out this huge monstrous roar and goes flying of the side of the car landing in the middle of the street.I swear it was like something out of a movie.my initial reaction was to laugh of course, I mean I couldnt help but to laugh.I pulled the car over and put it in park so that I could get out all my giggles before proceeding to see if she was ok, like I didn't want to just burst out laughing in her face.what scared me the most is not when she flew off the car, it's when another SUV making a turn onto the block we were on almost ran over her.lol.when the guy driving the truck realized she was alright he had the nerve to think that I hit her or something.PRICELESS.I've never laughed so hard in my life.

why is it that shit like this can never be captured on video?

little people can fuck too

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she called 911

so just when I thought she'd never be able to do it, she proved me wrong and did. thursday night my mom called the cops on me. why you ask? over some fucking dumb shit! (excuse my french) alright so heres what happened, we got into a little verbal dispute earlier that day before I had left to go to school over her car. needless to say I lost that battle. smh. anyways I come home early from school and no one was home which is rare to find in my household nowadays being that my mother is on leave from her job and my clueless unemployed godmother now resides with us. ok so I come home and I'm super siked cause an empty house=loud music and dancing like a bafoon in my underwear. so my mom finally comes home and tells me to lower the music a request I clearly did not hear being that the volume level was at its max. my mom takes this act of disobedience as an insult and comes at me with her "walkng cane" (weapon) ready to strike. I immediately stop the music but then after turn it back on to a decent listening level. mmm mmm mmm BIG MISTAKE, my mom becomes enraged and starts talking mad smack about how if I think I'm a boss then I need to get the fuck out her house and that if I don't leave she would call the police on me to have them escort me out. me being me and always habving to have the last word answered her back by saying "go ahead ands call the fucking police. see if I care, you always talking shit. why don't you do something?"...I think we all know how that ended. lol. need a visual? picture me in flip flops, with no bra wearing a hoodie power walking to the other side of canarsie in 35 degree weather.

this is my life.

RANDOM

so I'm sitting here in the "dorm" and I was just thinking to myself that Kim Kardashian can suck a mean dick.like deadass all jokes aside this chic has a God given gift.I personally have never gone down on my significant other but if I were going to I would definitely take up a couple of fellatio how-to lessons with Kim.dont trust my word on the her sucking skills watch her sex tape.it's bonkers.who knew Ray-J was hung like a horse?

she really appreciates a good dick when she see's one.

SMFH.

long story short my parents are bitch ass motherfuckers and useless pieces of shit.do I sound mad? cause I'm definitely not.

yet another monday has come and my mother fucks me over hard again.my mistake for thinking that now that I had my license I could drive myself to school.

mommie dearest wanted to play the "mine" game this morning and refused to let me use her car, therefore I had to call a cab which charged me $40 mind you money I do not have to get to school.what makes it so bad is that I miss my first class which is like top priority to me and then come to find out that my second class is fucking cancelled.FUCK MY LIFE.sooo i def. could have just caught a ride to school and put that money towards something else.smh.

tighttttttttt!

License to KILL

yo peep me w. the temporary license and keys to the whip.

lol.hella hype.

alright so last time I was here I was talking bout how scared I was to take my road test which was on the 21st of november, well I FUCKING PASSED! ooemfuckingggee I don't know how I did it but I passed.God bless examiner #289 which is about as much info I know about my road test proctor except from the fact that shes a saint.Lord know I so was supposed to recieve an automatic failure.smh.

driving is so liberating.being able to just get up and go as you please.no waiting for the bus in the rain or cold or depending on someone to give you a ride.I love it.definitely shoulda go up on this license thing since summer time.Ayanna Celestin gets mad props cause she is the only person patient enough to deal w. my slow self and never did she yell at me...not even once.shes the greatest.I could have never done it without here.

toodles =)